These are the Coaching PRINCIPLES BEHIND WHAT I DO AND HOW I DO IT. Feel free to review them and see where you easily relate and where you do not.
Nothing great, noble, profound, or ecstatic has ever been achieved by someone primarily concerned with staying safely within their comfort zone.
While I am holding all the principles as I coach, this one in particular, expresses the character of "SarahReedCoaching." When people talk about "exploring your edge," this is the edge they are talking about. It is the edge where just on the other side is what we deeply want and what is over here on this side, is the illusion of security and safety, our comfort zone. Everyday you can choose to peer over your edge and maybe even jump, but how often do you really do it? SarahReedCoaching is about learning to get uncomfortable; to distinguish discomfort from pain, and to invite profound nobility, greatness, and ecstacy.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
This is one way to reframe "failure." Why do we need to reframe failure? Because 99.9999% of all great achievements had failures along the way, although many people who achieve greatness don't characterize those steps as failures because they didn't expect things to instantly work perfectly on the first try. They recognized that there was learning involved and that to get to greatness they had to understand the depth and breadth of possibilty along the way. By taking a step off thier path they got feedback that helped them to cultivate wisdom. As long as you are committed to continuing on your path, there is no such thing as failure.
People with the most flexibility have the most influence.
Flexibility means you have more options and that you can adjust as need be. Inflexibility means no options; your path is determined completely and should any obstacle arise, you are stuck. A flexible person has the freedom to step off of their path and remove the obstacle for someone who is stuck, they can also leave them behind, they can enlist help and adopt methods they were unable to come up with on thier own; they can work in a team or go it alone. Next time you are stuck, notice where you are being inflexible. Is it worth it to expand your options in order to transform your experience?
The meaning someone makes about what happened is more meaningful than the content of what happened.
Two people had the experience of buying a cup of coffee and then immediately, accidentally, spilling it. The first person believes that spilling her coffee is a symbol that everything shitty always happens to her, that nothing is ever easy, and that her day is bound to be miserable. The second person takes it as a sign that she probably didn't need the cup of coffee. As she cleans up the mess she experiences gratitude that she doesn't feel jumpy, and imagines that the rest of her day might be a little foggier than usual but that she will be much calmer which will make driving and dealing with her stressful work environment easier. They both had the experience of spilling their coffee, but when they recount the story it's insignificant compaired to the MEANING they gave to what happened. Another way to stay this, and possibly more accurately is... Your beliefs can either trap you or set you free... Whatever you believe will determine what you decide to do. If you truly want to change the first step is to believe one hundred percent that you can and that you will.
This might be easier said than done. For instance, for close to 4 years I struggled to believe I had anything to offer. I was ignoring examples that might have served as proof of my value and I was cataloging every moment where I felt stuck or defeated. As opportunities came my way I would reject them thinking I would be a disappointment. To explain why I was "attached" to feeling like I had nothing to offer requires a bit more back story so we can go into it some other time. Eventually I realized that people were counting on me and that letting them down but having tried was going to come across a lot better and feel a lot better than disappointing them because I never even tried. These were people who believed in me, sometimes more than I believed in myself. I started making offers to help, to explore my edge, and I let go of my attachment to failure so I could start to grow. I began to see proof of my value.
In order to grow you have to let go of the thing that you are attached to that is stopping you.
A symptom is not a death sentence. A symptom is communication in the language of our bodies. By definition a symptom is a departure from normal feeling or function. It is there to get your attention. How you respond is up to you. You have CHOICE!
Symptoms are communication about needed action.
Most people want to be strong and resilient; we do not want to feel defeated by life or by others. Surrender is not defeat. Surrender is a trust that we belong as much as anyone and anything and that we are in fact all part of that same energy of love. To take risks we must surrender our need to control. To allow love we must surrender our judgements. There is triumph when we surrender because we lose our opposition, we expand possibility.
Surrender doesn't mean giving in to another but rather, giving in to love.
When the learning ends, life ends. At any given moment it deepens your experience of life when you ask, "what is it I am here to learn?"