Pretzel Logic

I just got back from the Health Coach Institute/HMBA 3 Day Conference in Nevada. The conference was an incredible success! I mean it. Words can hardly describe the profoundly moving and powerful transformations that were happening almost faster than anyone could keep up. 


Truthfully though, it began as a bit trial for me. Sadly, the day before we left my husband Wolf found out that his best friend from years back had passed away. They hadn’t seen each other in many years which added to the heartbreak. Wolf was grieving the entire trip and still is. 


Also, the day before we left, our daughter Delilah seemed to be coming down with a stomach flu, diarrhea, feverish, low energy, no appetite, and the new environment and experiences made it hard for her get rest.  


I ran into my mentor on belief change/mindset work, Terry Hickey, and at first it was difficult for me to find the opportunity to connect. 


The reason I had decided to go in the first place was to look for the people I would love to coach; people who have a big vision, who feel called to live an extraordinary life and make a big impact but aren’t doing it for some reason. I wanted to meet those people and see how we could get together to make their vision a reality. 


With the heartbroken husband and the sick baby I began to feel really selfish. The second night we went out to dinner with Terry and he helped me remember why I was really there...


Why was I REALLY there? 

Terry has taught me so much about how I create my beliefs and how to shift them to get more of what I want. I told him I thought I was having an identity problem. 


You see, I used to be a big-time skeptic. I had accepted the idea that we needed scientific proof before we could consider ourselves wise in believing something.


Actually at first, in high school, I was really into toodling around the metaphysical bookstore reading about chakras, auras, magic and all that, but later, I started to think I would seem like an airy-fairy nut-job. I began dating someone who was really pessimistic and hated people who talked about astrology or anything he couldn't understand within his accepted paradigm. So, I forgot that I had learned about that stuff and became rather skeptical myself. 


Over the years when I saw science that explained these previously unexplainable (or under-explained) experiences and ideas I felt validated but still didn’t come out of the closet about my woo-woo inclinations. Truthfully I manage to maintain a fair amount of skepticism but I realize i am capable of changing how I believe and letting my beliefs work on my behalf rather than getting me stuck.


Since I have been coaching, I have had a number of clients come to me with experiences that the old skeptical me would have had to doubt. Since I have been coaching I have worked with highly sensitive people who are picking up on more than most, clients who have experienced Kundalini awakenings, intense chakra activation, and women who see or hear messages that others do not. 


Thank god I am more interested in helping people than I am in trying to satisfy that part of me that is scared of being judged for being airy-fairy, or that needs proof before I am willing to trust someone's experience.  


The identity problem I told Terry about was that I felt like I was getting twisted up about who I help and how I communicate that, particularly these somewhat "mystically inclined" people, AND, why I back down sometimes when it is time for me contribute and make a difference. 


Terry’s asked me about my values and my mission because your mission will control what you value and your values will control your identity. He asked why it mattered that I help people who feel called to live an extraordinary life and to have a big impact. 


I told him, as my emotions grew and tears began to well up in my eyes, that I believe that the world is experiencing rapid change and that I want to help people who are ready to get in and work at the pace needed to create a powerful shift for love and positivity, “to save the planet.” What I really meant was that I wanted to help people who wanted to help save the planet, to save the life that this planet supports. 




Because the life on this planet, me and everyone and everything else, is how I feel love. I don’t want love to die. 


Okay. So what happens if I don’t help to “save the planet?”


I am not living my purpose. Failure. Misery. 


Does it matter that some of the people I help have mystical powers or whether people believe it or not-no. It only matters if they believe it and if I can help them. 


What really matters to me is that I have work I feel I am meant to do and that my clients have work they feel they are meant to do. It’s so simple I must’ve thought I needed to complicate it.  


This is what I call pretzel-logic and sometimes it takes a bit of laser coaching from a master to get you thinking about your problem on the level that will impact your experience. Sometimes you need to look at things from a “higher level,”  from your values or your mission. 


Maybe the real reason I was at this conference was to remember what really matters about what I am doing. I think so. Things got much easier after that night. I didn't feel selfish or guilty anymore. I was grateful to Wolf and Delilah for supporting me and I was ready to connect with the people I would love to coach. 


So, let me know in the comments below if you feel like you are stuck and not moving forward on something that matters to you and what happens when you consider it from a higher level such as from the level of your values or your mission? And let me know if this consideration reveals a bigger reason why it is important that you make your impact.