Growing up I loved the idea of rebels. I felt like I didn’t “fit the mold” a lot of the time and in order not to feel really shitty about that, I decided it was wayyy better and wayyy cooler to be a rebel.
The funny thing is that it didn’t change how desperately I wanted approval, not from my family, my peers, my teachers and eventually not even my potential employers. I wanted to BELONG so badly that, not ironically, I became obsessed with cooperative work environments, intentional communities and other “alternative” ways that people can COME TOGETHER to accomplish things.
The interesting secret about many coops is that they are often the kinds of places where a bunch of people who identify as risk-takers or rebels can come together and feel like they BELONG.
After working in coops for over 20 years I reached my limit. My desire to connect and belong was overridden by my desire to “go it alone,” and to see what I am truly capable of when I am not constrained within a specific culture.
This has been one of the most challenging changes I have ever attempted.
I admit, I still want approval. I still want to belong. But yet, I’ve identified as a rebel this whole time.
Am I full of shit? What does it mean to want to be different and still want to belong; to say “F-you” to the status quo and still hope I can make something of myself as I leap into the unknown?
At the end of the day, the success or failure of this endeavor falls on me. I even have to be the one who defines what I mean by the very word “success.”
So before I share the three reasons I believe it is important to resist the status quo, I will give you my definition of success:
- feeling challenged and coming out victorious
- leaving the world a better place through your efforts,
- creating measurable markers/goals for your achievements (money, lives changed, selling your start up) and hitting them
- living out your dreams and acting from your highest sense of who you are.
“Successful” may not be a word you use when you think about what you want in life, but if you think about what you want, chances are almost 100% in favor of you wishing you were successful at achieving THAT.
How Can You Create Your Own Definition Of Success?
The answer is simple. You begin by resisting the status quo
Today we will look at reason #1: To “make a difference” you have to BE DIFFERENT/DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Seriously, to make a “sameness” you can be and do the SAME things but if you want to have IMPACT, to leave things better than before, to influence outcomes, you will have to try something new that hasn’t been tried, at least not in the context you are trying it in now.
One of the principles I teach clients, like you, is that “in order to grow you have to let go of the thing you are attached to that is stopping you.”
So I want you to do me a favor, in the "comments" section below, tell me where you need to grow or what to let go of. Then, answer doesn't have to be "yes," but can you see how this stops you from having what you want?
Yes, for things to change, YOU have to change.
Sometimes we know exactly what’s stopping us but we are unwilling to let go of it. That’s the status quo gripping you even tighter.
What if your dreams and desires are absolutely possible and are waiting for you just on the other side of your decision to fully commit to having them?
You can also share with me in the comments section below, what have you always wanted to do and what has stopped you from doing it in the past?